The ultimate cheat guide to make people to like you instantly!
Have you realized that some people just have a charm when they speak, which makes us eager and awaiting to what they have to say? Do you want to be that kind of person ?Do you want to make a lot of friends? Do you want to walk into a room and command respect? Do you want to be popular that others yearn to talk to you?
Dale Carnegie’s book ” How to make friends and influence people” is a best-seller and has sold more than 15 million copies worldwide.Now this got me thinking : it’s not often you get books which are so popular among many.What is that which drives us to be influential, to be respected?
Here are some hacks that everybody should know about how to make people like you instantly..
Things you must follow:
- Say their name :
Nothing pleases someone more than their name. To quote Dale Carnegie ” A person’s name is the sweetest sound in any language”. Saying people’s name will make them know that you care and respect them enough to remember their name! It’s as simple as that.
The hack: Say people’s name often, use their first name , you don’t want to miss an opportunity.
2. Avoid any distractions : This is key. Avoid any distractions. And , by this i also mean your cell phones! DO NOT CHECK YOUR PHONE!!! When you play with your phone during a conversation it just blatantly means you are bored or not interested in the conversation.
Come on, you can switch off your phones, unless you want to end up like this?
The hack : Switching off your mobile phone during a conversation makes the other person feel important and you’re on your way to create an impression!
3.Eye-contact :Maintaining eye-contact shows the other person that you are listening. Now, everyone has done this, fixing your eyes on the teacher and nodding intently (god knows, where our minds drift to ).Haven’t this always worked?
Of,course we know that eyes are the windows to the soul.When you maintain eye contact while speaking , it makes the other person feel important. But make sure, you make it friendly, you don’t want to end up giving them the creeps!
The hack :There isn’t something more good, than knowing that someone is there to hear what you say. Pay attention and lend a ear.The head tilt is an universal sign of paying attention, try it!
4. BE PATIENT TO CRITICIZE : It’s fine if you don’t accept everything(it’s in fact,good) what the other person has to say, but respect and appreciate their opinion.
“Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person’s pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.” – Dale Carnegie
The hack : Don’t argue. Remember, you don’t have to accept, but just listen!
5. SMILE : Don’t we all know how a smile can change everything?
“Actions speak louder than words. A smile says, ‘I like you. I am glad to see you.”- Dale Carnegie
The hack : You never know, your smile can make someone stronger . It may even make someone’s day!
6. A little blandishment works!! : Don’t we all love compliments? But, beware make them sincere. You don’t want to sound like you compliment everyone you see!
“The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.”
The hack : Appreciate people for the noble things they have done. Nothing pleases more than someone recognizing and appreciating your work!
7. Be sympathetic: If there’s one thing nowadays , people don’t have, it’s time! What are we racing for? That being said, it will mean a great deal if you take some time to lend a ear to someone’s problems.
“Three-fourths of the people you will meet are hungering for sympathy. Give it to them and they will love you.”
The hack : Offer genuine condolence. It is an unspoken token of care when you set aside time to listen to someone’s grief. And voila, if you offer them some advice or try to cheer them up!
Things you should avoid!
- DON’T JUST SPEAK, BUT LISTEN : Don’t rule over the conversation, let the other person talk. After all, how many of us pass a chance to talk about ourselves? Don’t we love it? Listen to what they have to say and be interactive.
“Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want.”
― Dale Carnegie,
The hack : Ask questions about the person. It shows your’e not only listening ,but you’re actually interested!
2. Don’t fake interest : I know i mentioned before , to pay attention but , mind you,
don’t fake interest. It highly irritates people!
The hack : Be genuinely interested. Having things in common to talk about will help.
3. Do not try to force your opinion on anyone who is totally fine thinking for themselves!! : People come packed with a lot of brains and have fine sense of judgement. So stop trying to force your idea of sense into them! Believe me, even if they are wrong, you don’t have to be the one to pint the finger!
The hack : If you are highly unable to stop your tongue, be polite when you object something , but never force your opinions on them!
And now, i believe you possess the skills to change a boring small-talk to an interesting two-way conversation!
Happy practicing your newly-polished skills and don’t forget to share your experiences in the comments below.
P.S : You may also find this helpful: https://blog.udemy.com/list-of-interpersonal-skills/. Image courtesy : Google Images